Google This Post Office

Last week I finally turned in paperwork to get a passport. The process is easy. I know this because of Google. A lot of processes are easier because of Google. They even listed inexpensive places to get passport pictures. You can fill out the application on-line and locate the nearest offices for processing. I know this because of the U.S. Department of State Web site, which has decent instructions. I don’t expect government Web sites to make a lot of sense, but this one did.

Still some things never change. The post office for instance.

I went to my local P.O. to submit the paperwork. Because of the on-line instructions, I had everything I needed. Filled out the form, had the pictures ready, brought my birth certificate. Inside the post office, aka the acceptance center, there were no customers and one person working behind the counter.

I should also tell you there was a posted sign. No instructions, just the word passposts with a phone number. This irked me a little because there was no warning that I should call ahead. For that reason I ignored the sign, though I knew feigning ignorance would be futile. I asked the man behind the counter about getting a passport and he pointed to the sign. I called from my cell phone.

The woman who answered told me she was inside the post office and that I could make an appointment. When would it be convenient for me to come in, she asked me. I told her I was already in the building, so would like to do it that day if possible, in fact I could do it now. She told me that there was no one available right then and that I could make an appointment after 2. It was 1 p.m. We settled on 4:40. I went home.

I arrived early for my appointment. Again there was no one in line, one person was being served at a counter, and the same gentleman was at another counter again with nary a customer. I realized I should have asked the woman on the phone where to go for my appointment. I went to the gentleman, told him I was here for my passport appointment. What time is your appointment he asked, looking over his shoulder at the clock. 4:40 I said. It was 4:35.

I should have predicted what happened. After all, I am a government worker, and I have seen bureaucracy up close and personal. He asked for my paperwork and started to review it. The appointment was apparently with him, the same person who was doing nothing when I had come 3 ½ hours earlier.

I paid $75 as an application fee. Then my favorite part: I was charged $25 for reimburse the post office for processing my paperwork. From their viewpoint this probably makes perfect sense. After all I was “helped” by 3 people. Once when I first arrived. The person who answered the phone and set the appointment was the second. Third was person #1 who processed my form.

He took my original birth certificate to send in with the forms. Can I get a copy, I asked. Don’t worry, he said, it’ll be mailed back to you.
I’ve already Googled the instructions for how to re-order it. According to the Web site, it will be very straightforward.

I googled jokes about the post office:

What's the difference between a chess player and a postal worker? A chess player moves every now and then.

What does it mean when the Post Office flys its mast at half staff? They're hiring.

I wrote a letter to the Postmaster General once on ways to improve mail service. It got lost.

The other day at the Post Office here in I gave the clerk a word of thanks. She dropped it.

I remember when the postal workers started a slow-down strike for a pay raise. They had to call it off -- nobody noticed.

One good thing about the Post Office -- it's over 200 years old and yet it's never been hindered by progress.